I am awful about blogging. But I feel like having a place to write all of this down would be great.

I am coming out of being sick for a month. It was awful.

I wrote this last week:

So, it's mid-January, and the depression is in full force. I hate to even call it “depression” because I feel like it's used far too much to describe periods of life that frankly just blow. How do I know it's “really” depression?

I can barely make it through the days sometimes. I push on through, of course. I take care of my kids. But there's so much exhaustion and resentment there. A lot of that is because I've been sick for the better part of a month. Brutally sick, not just a cold or the sniffles. Need to be in bed, can't fucking move SICK. I've had some time to think about this. I know it's connected. I know that my mind knows we aren't doing too good here. I know my body knows my mind isn't doing too good. It's all overlapping.

That is the cliff's notes. The stress around here is unbelievable and I found myself coping with food. I went on a week-long sugar binge, and what happened? Sick. Depressed. Cycling back and forth for a month.

I am going to use this blog to explore the connection between body and mind, between health and dis-ease. I am going to use this blog to explore my relationship with food, which I am admitting openly is an addiction-like relationship. I am going to use this blog to explore exercise, food, relationships, activities, habits, etc.

This is not a "I'm going to be a better person in every single way." type of blog. It's also not a blog to talk about all of my imperfections and engage in negative self-talk.