Food is energy.

With so much negative energy in this world, I have control over putting positive, loving energy into my body in the form of food.

Day two.

Yesterday I counted calories, counted protein grams, and looked at what "groups" I was eating from. I was surprised that I ate over 100 grams of protein.

My intention is not to keep track of calories. My intention is to be held accountable for loving my body and treating it well.

Today and yesterday, I shoveled the driveway for exercise. Will probably start the treadmill tomorrow or Thursday.

I am awful about blogging. But I feel like having a place to write all of this down would be great.

I am coming out of being sick for a month. It was awful.

I wrote this last week:

So, it's mid-January, and the depression is in full force. I hate to even call it “depression” because I feel like it's used far too much to describe periods of life that frankly just blow. How do I know it's “really” depression?

I can barely make it through the days sometimes. I push on through, of course. I take care of my kids. But there's so much exhaustion and resentment there. A lot of that is because I've been sick for the better part of a month. Brutally sick, not just a cold or the sniffles. Need to be in bed, can't fucking move SICK. I've had some time to think about this. I know it's connected. I know that my mind knows we aren't doing too good here. I know my body knows my mind isn't doing too good. It's all overlapping.

That is the cliff's notes. The stress around here is unbelievable and I found myself coping with food. I went on a week-long sugar binge, and what happened? Sick. Depressed. Cycling back and forth for a month.

I am going to use this blog to explore the connection between body and mind, between health and dis-ease. I am going to use this blog to explore my relationship with food, which I am admitting openly is an addiction-like relationship. I am going to use this blog to explore exercise, food, relationships, activities, habits, etc.

This is not a "I'm going to be a better person in every single way." type of blog. It's also not a blog to talk about all of my imperfections and engage in negative self-talk.

“Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity”